Confidence With Women

How To Get Over Rejection?

// November 19th, 2010 // No Comments » // Opening

By Rob Judge (Guest Writer)

Learned PUA For 2 Years And Still Not Opening

// November 14th, 2010 // No Comments » // General

Today’s Q&A is from a guy who has been in the community for two years and still hasn’t approached any girls.

QUESTION: Hey, I don’t know what to do any more. It’s been 2 years and 5 months since I discovered PUA and I have been reading shit since then, Mystery Method, Gambler, David DeAngelo, Mehow, RSD. I can’t make myself approach. I have read so many things about approaching fear and how to get over it. Like, look the first week into peoples eyes, then talk to random people, the working staff etc.

I have learned this stuff so fucking long and still, I am frozen when I have to approach. It has gotten so bad lately that I do not have even courage to look people in their eyes any more. I am not a total fuck up socially. When I am in state I can be good. I have had 3 pretty girls, from social circle but still. I can be cocky and funny. It’s hard for me to talk to strangers but if we have some group then it’s much easier to talk because I don’t have the weight on my shoulders to lead the conversation and I can just talk more freely. I can’t get more girls from my social circle because they are as shy as I am or they already have boyfriends. My day to day life is pretty nightmarish, just.. I feel like I am moving through life as the world is static, that I can’t change anything. It’s terrible.

I really don’t know what to do. Starting a conversation with a stranger would be as hard for me as jumping in front of a train..

About me:
I am 21 years old and studying informational technology in university, it’s my final year. I don’t have any girls on my course :S Many girls say I am handsome/cute, stylish, often checking me out (at least it seems to me that they are), I am 187 tall..

MY ANSWER:

One of the unfortunate things about the world we like in is dating isn’t like computer programming. Where in computer programming you can read a book on PHP or C++ and get better at that programming language the same can’t be said for attracting girls. Talking to women is a social skill that needs to be practised a number of times before you start to see an improvement.

All you’ve done with the last two years of your life is waste time reading information that you are never going to use. You’ve also probably confused the hell out of yourself by reading all these conflicting ideas because attracting women isn’t an exact science like the theory of relativity for example, it’s more like chess how there is a clear goal (to win) but there are limitless ways to go about winning. Consequently any crackpot with a computer can dole out dating advice (case in point: even I do it) so there is every conflicting theory under the sun out there floating around on the Internet.

The best thing to do is forget all the shit you’ve read because chances are 90% of it doesn’t work anyway. Pick one of the simpler methods to learn, I recommend either The Principals of Attraction by AFC Adam Lyons or The 4 Elements of Game by Rob Judge. They are the two of the easiest methods to put into practice and because of that they have the highest success rate. A lot of the stuff out on the market these days in ridiculously over complicated which is why most guys who join the community never get anywhere. You don’t need something complicated to get good at something that regular guys can be good at without ever finding the community, we’re biologically programmed to find a partner and mate (not to get too scientific) just like ever other animal on the planet. Keep things simple.

The best advice I can give you is start small. Just concentrate on getting over your approach anxiety by asking people for directions or the time. Once you can do that start approaching girls properly. Get to the point where you can stay in conversation with them for a minute or two then get her phone number. All that you have to do then is set up a date.

You aren’t going to make any headway unless you go out and start actually talking to girls. The more girls you talk to the better you’ll get.

If you can’t even manage that you may want to consider giving Hypnosis or something like that a try to see if that can remove this mental block that prevents you from approaching girls. Good luck!

Feel free to send me an email if you have any questions or want some advice. I read every single one.

Thanks again for your support! Cheers!

Brandon

Top 10 Tips to Overcome Shyness

// November 9th, 2010 // 6 Comments » // Shyness

By JT (Guest Writer)

If you’re shy, you will NOT get girls.
REPEAT- If you are shy, you will NOT get girls.

Despite whatever television shows and movies you’ve seen, the shy protagonist doesn’t miraculously get the babe in real life. This is a bullshit fantasy and accepting that one day…that one motherfucking day you’ll get the girl of your dreams, despite living a mediocre life is a lie.

Look, I believed the television shows and movies too. Additionally, I also read the dating advice columns in Maxim, Men’s Health, Esquire etc about how to get girls- thinking that being shy was fine, just as long as I was “being myself” and “being confident”; then she’d have like me, right? Oh yea, I also memorized the most clever pickup lines thinking that would help too. Thing is, NONE of these resources addressed how to exactly “be myself” and “be confident”, or what it even meant, or how it actually worked.

And somehow, at the age of 24 I was still a virgin, and still never kissed a girl.

Sure, I could’ve continued to believe everything was alright. Perhaps I could’ve gotten “lucky”, landed on a DTF drunk fattie, got laid once or twice a year, if ever. If this sounds acceptable to you, then please go to the upper right hand corner of this screen and click X. This article is not for you.

The truth-
Being shy is unattractive.

The next paragraph reveals how and what I did to remedy my shyness: Transforming from a loveshy loser to a man that confidently approaches the women he’s attracted to…

10 Tips to Overcome Shyness & Become Attractive around Women

Do NOT give a damn what anyone thinks about you-
When you give a damn, you’re reacting to others, seeking approval. You teeter on eggshells, feeling uncomfortable, intimidated, insecure and confused about what to say/do. Be your own person, live your own life. Do what you want, and others do what they can about it.

As an exercise, chant this yourself right now- “I do NOT give a damn…what anyone thinks about me”. Do this as much as you’d like, til you feel a physiological sensation and your voice sparkles a 100% belief that you honestly do not give a damn what ANYONE thinks about you…

You do not need anyone else to make you feel good about yourself-
If you’re looking for someone elses’ validation (especially a girls’)- you’re being a bitch. And you will never be attractive; no girl will ever have sex with a guy she feels sorry for. As a man, acknowledge that there is nothing someone can give you that you can’t get for yourself.

You, and ONLY You, can control how you feel about yourself-
Be cognizant how you FEEL in relation to the world around you, not self-conscious. Don’t take yourself or the world too seriously; find humor in everyday life, draw inspiration, cultivate a love for being. Check out Eckhart Tolle’s ‘The Power of Now’ for an understanding of ego and the role it plays in constructing the beliefs about ourselves in relation to the world.

Give yourself permission to be the man you want to become-
List the traits of the ‘ideal’ man. Understand those traits and shift your behavior towards becoming THAT person. The blueprint is now there to follow. Think to yourself: How would my ideal self react to a situation? Give yourself permission to be THAT person!

You’re either confident or you’re a bitch-
You cannot be ‘almost confident’ or 99% confident. Confidence, as I understand it, is purely the absence of fear. Nothing is holding you back; no mental obstacles between you and what you want. Notice how a five year old can be just as confident as a CEO; just because they don’t have a care in the world and no mental obstacle holding them back.

Stop masturbating-
Check out my earlier post on understanding how masturbation destroys a force that is insanely attractive to women. http://www.getgirlsnotgame.com/2010/10/sexual-energy.html

Talk LOUDER-
Visualize yourself as a fucking boom-box exploding the awesomeness. Speak LOUDER by pushing the air from your stomach outwards, not the air from your throat. Remember too, everything you say is important; it is important because it’s coming from you.

Be the Music-
Sad people listen to sad music. Have you ever heard a rap song where the rapper felt bad about himself? NO. In rap music, to illustrate an example, the MCs are having a fun time just being themselves, being the party, and living the life they want to live. Besides being awesome, rap music reinforces the mindsets of men that do not give a fuck what others think and aren’t shy to express themselves. Now, check out R. Kelly’s song, “I’ma Flirt” to dial and inspire the pimp inside you: R. Kelly “Im’a Flirt”

Join Toastmasters-
I cannot vouch enough how helpful this was for my own development. By joining Toastmasters, you are forced to speak to a public audience and you will receive honest, encouraging feedback towards sounding/appearing more confident. Click here to find a club near you…

Take action-
Join a GYM, develop good posture; the mind will follow the body. Get involved. Be proactive. Be a man and take charge. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

The richer your life is, the better you should feel about yourself.
You + Taking Action= your best self.

Additional tip to remember,

Girls love sex-
This is not an instant tip. To realize this as the TRUTH, you must go out and approach women. That’s it. Referencing and internalizing the ten tips above will allow you to feature your most attractive and confident self when you do approach women. For a woman, a highly confident man (regardless of looks, money, status) is the equivalent of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model for men.

Simply, Confidence = Attractive

JT, runs the blog Get Girls Not Game detailing the Life & Musings of a 25 year-old seducer living in NYC

I Almost Died To Get a Date

// November 2nd, 2010 // 2 Comments » // Confidence

By Rob Judge (Guest Writer)

Today’s article was conceived in its totality a split second before I was nearly annihilated.

Rob Judge

At 6:23pm, on Saturday, my business partner Zack and I were sitting outside at a sidewalk café. We were enjoying the fading sunlight of an usually balmy spring day.

After we squared away the check, we stood up and started strolling down a quiet side street in the West Village. When we were a few paces from the café, Zack pointed out a girl across the street.

“Hey man,” Zack said in a familiar tone, nudging me, “There’s your next girlfriend. Go meet her.”

I laughed, but parried the challenge. “Nah,” I said, “I’m stuffed from dinner. I’ll meet my next girlfriend tonigh—”

Before I could finish the excuse, a loud tire screech sounded behind us—the unmistakable sound of a car losing control.

I whipped around to find a yellow van cab racing toward us. Before the reality of this even registered, the van popped over the curb and smashed head-on into a store front not 3 feet from us. The impact was that of an enraged battering ram, the van had been moving with such speed that the back wheels actually lifted off the ground.

Paralyzed, I just stared.

One second the van was driving, now it was lodged into a wall. Its crumbled hood looking like a severed human face with the nose freshly lopped off. But instead of blood, the van gushed gasoline.

Looking down I saw the deadly black liquid pooling around my boots. The van’s door whooshed open, someone inside screaming, “It’s leaking gas! RUN!”

The passengers scattered in all directions. Zack grabbed me by the hood of my sweatshirt, “Come on, man! Let’s get the hell out of here!”

“Yeah,” I said, craning my neck, trying to make sense of what just happened. “Let’s go.”

We darted up the block, not a word spoken between us.

At the corner, a man cradling a baby stared at us, his mouth hanging open. “You two,” he whispered, rocking the baby, “Someone’s watching out for you two. You’re lucky to be alive. Damn lucky.”

It was then that the gravity of what had just happened washed over me. My brain was like a jammed movie projector, playing the scene over and over in the theater of my memory.

All the cliché if’s surfaced: If we’d been walking a pace slower, if we’d stopped for half a second.

Then, because the moment was inextricably tied to the scene, I thought of my interrupted excuse right before the screech. “I’ll meet my next girlfriend tonigh—” Another tonight almost didn’t exist.

I almost died to get a date

Here we go again, I can hear you sigh, another boring anecdote about a near-death experience that made someone realize the importance of living life to the fullest. You’re only half right.

While yes, nearly having my body crushed between the grill of a New York cab and a concrete store front made me appreciate the beauty of life, I’d rather focus on that interrupted moment before impact, the “I’ll meet my next girlfriend tonigh—” moment.

As anyone who’s applied dating advice to (actually) meeting women knows, the only real helpful information is that which gets you to change your bad mindsets.

Because as we all know your mindsets dictate how you think which dictates how you feel which dictates how you behave which dictates how attractive you are. Therefore, I’m relaying my nerve-wrecking anecdote because I want shift one itty, bitty little distinction in your mind: the difference between living hope versus living reality.

Had I died last weekend, do you think I would’ve gone to my grave content I’d done everything I’ve set out to do? Hell no! There are so many more girls I want to meet, projects I want to finish, places I want to see, and things (and people) I want to do.

How, then, will I be content when it is time for me to die and the out-of-control taxi doesn’t miss by a few feet?

Answer: By choosing to live my life in reality, not hope.

I devoted an entire chapter to “hope versus realty” in our book, but this weekend reinforced it.

To live in hope is to wake up with the perpetual belief that “things are going to get better.” Living in hope feels nice because you feel as if you’re taking the active steps to improve your life.

You read the self-help books, you join the mastermind group or message board, you watch the seminars and absorb the knowledge. You’re convinced that you’re not just another loser—you’re making progress!

But I call bullshit—you’re not making progress, you’re just wallowing in hope. If you aren’t actually making tangible gains toward your goals each day, you’re just another disillusioned information-addict sucking the tit of hope.

You’re never going to be truly happy, truly successful, or truly alive. And the moment before you die, you’ll realize you were never alive to begin with.

So, then, what’s the alternative?

Answer: Reality.

I almost died to get a date

You must make a promise to yourself to live in reality each day if you want to truly live your life. Reality can be harsh, it can be embarrassing, it be uncomfortable—living in reality means living at the mercy of rejection, of failure, of messing up.

Living in reality means putting what you learned to the test, finding out if those “feel good” emotions you got learning it are actually legitimate, or just more mental masturbation with no practical application.

That’s all I need to explain about living in reality—either you get it or you don’t. And if you don’t get it, it’s not my failure as writer to define it—it’s your failure as a living human to accept it.

You were given your life as a gift, nicely packaged in a fancy plastic wrapping called “hope.” It’s your decision whether or not you’re going to open that fancy wrapping and use your life, or just admire it from a distance.

Hope or reality?

That’s your choice to make; however, you may not realize you made the wrong choice until a split second before you’re annihilated—or almost annihilated.

And if you that little anecdote fired you up, then you really have to do yourself a favor and read the chapter on “Hope versus Reality” in our book, The 4 Elements of Game. I promise the words will tattoo themselves in your brain and you’ll never be able to live your life like a loser again.

It’ll force you to take action and achieve the life you really want–a life filled with dating hotter girls! Live your life TODAY by clicking on the link below:

Read the chapter on choosing reality over hope in The 4 Elements of Game

To living life to the absolute fullest–today.

Rob Judge

The Best Halloween Costume Idea For Guys

// October 29th, 2010 // 4 Comments » // General

Last Halloween I tried out Brad Jacksons idea for the best Halloween costume for guys to wear. I was extremely sceptical at first but decided to give it a try because I believe in experimentation so I’ll give pretty much anything a go to see if it works (plus it seemed like a fun idea). The good news is it works really, really well!

His idea is to create a Facebook costume, if you haven’t watched his video go here to see it. You can see a photo of my attempt at it below from the day after Halloween (Click to see a larger version of the image).

In fact it worked so well I then had to get people to write on the back because the front got so full (click the image for the bigger version).

So I’ll bet the question you’re wondering now is: Does it actually get girls to approach you?

To answer your question I ended up getting 1 girls phone number and 5 girls Facebooks, I got more but I couldn’t read what the girls had written the day after. All of that without having to do a single approach that night, with every single girl approaching me.

If you are stuck for a costume to wear this Halloween you could do a lot worse than giving Brads idea a try. It’s the most fun costume I’ve ever worn by a mile. I got loads of compliments on it because everyone who saw it thought it was a really creative idea.

I think it will be really good learning experience for guys reading this who have severe Approach Anxiety. The girls will approach you and you’ll see that they are normal friendly people like you and I, so there’s nothing to be anxious about.

Happy Halloween!

Brandon.

P.s You didn’t think I was going to let you go without posting this did you??? You did… how naive

If that doesn’t make you want to go out and talk to some girl I don’t know what will.

Top 3 Bloggers in the Dating Industry

// October 22nd, 2010 // 2 Comments » // Lifestyle

If you perform a Google search for Men’s Dating Advice you will get an abundance of results all with varying opinions and strategies for how to perform better with the opposite sex. But how do you know that the advice being given is any good, or even that it won’t make you even worse than you already are? The good news is I’ve sifted through the hundreds of blogs out there and presented you with the Top 3 Bloggers in the Dating Industry so you don’t have to.

The reason I’ve chosen these three guys is because I know the advice they give is good due to me attracting girls in similar ways to what they teach. So you can rest assured that what they teach is good. Without further ado…

Rob Judge – Date Hotter Girls

Rob Judge is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.

These days he splits his time between nerd activities like writing, reading, and jogging and awesome activities like aggressive dating, aggressive teaching, and aggressive aggressiveness.

On a rainy day, you can find him sipping coffee while writing dating articles or bizarre fiction in a Starbucks near you.

To examine what exactly that choice means, consider the last time you didn’t approach an attractive woman. What stopped you? Regardless of your reason or excuse, you don’t know anything for sure. Whether she looked busy, looked like she might have a boyfriend, or she just looked mean…or maybe you felt you didn’t look appropriate, knew the right line, or had enough “field experience.” Regardless, you’re only guessing. You’re living in fantasy.

Admit it: you cannot tell yourself with certainty that anything your fear made you believe is true or not. You’re not living your life in reality. You’re literally living a lie—and that lie will keep you in a lonely, isolated fantasy land until you die if you don’t realize it.

So realize it right now: you have a choice. That choice is whether you’re committed to truth, or imprisoned by the fantasies in your head.

By now, most red-blooded men would be chanting, “I’m going to live in reality, damn it!” without really knowing what that entails. Living in a reality means accepting the truth for what it is: you’ll get some girls, get rejected by others, and everything in between. More importantly, you’ll earn the private truth of every approach you make—whether it only last 2 seconds or an entire lifetime.

You’ll learn the truth about her, the truth about you, the truth about you and her together—or apart. A unique truth is waiting for you with every girl you approach, but you have to be man enough to accept it, to want it, to crave it. You have to “LOVE putting YOUR face in front of a super hot girl and not knowing how the chips may fall.”

You may fail. You may succeed. But you’ll get the truth, every time.

A selection of Rob’s best blog posts:

1 This Ain’t No Skillset

2 Taking the PUA Out of Picking Up Chicks: 12 Points to Clear Your Head of Garbage

3 The Death of the Pickup Artist: A Eulogy

Adam Lyons – Attraction Explained

Voted least likely to ever get a girlfriend in school by his classmates aged 15. Adam Lyons decided to try his best to improve his love life be trying to become more attractive, and understand the psychology of why we get attracted to others. For 11 years he went by largely unsuccessful falling into a couple of relationships and spending most of the time completely perplexed by the opposite sex.

In the Summer of 2006 one of his best friends handed him a copy of a book called “the game” by Neil Strauss, with the words; “Read this book, you’ll take to it like a duck to water” Since then Adam has become known as one of the worlds leading authorities on attraction.

In short we learn the fear through a number of negative experiences and then reinforce them by not doing anything about it. The bodies natural reaction towards a fearful situation is the feeling we associate with approach anxiety or the fear of the approach. The way to overcome this is to reverse the learning.

All of the common problems detailed above can be directly related to either “magical thinking” in the form of a false belief that failure is almost certain due to some form of connection to a previous situation that failed. Or pure fear learnt and reinforced by not approaching. These are both forms of self fulfilled prophecy i.e. Unless you actively do something to fix it they will continue to support themselves. The good news is that this problem is far from unfixable.

The bad news is that it does take time. The easiest way to fix this is to actually go out and meet new people. The problem is that when you do this, any negative experience you receive is likely to reinforce the previous attitude or fear you had before. As I’ve mentioned before one of the easiest ways to get around this is to simply meet people for the sake of meeting people.

Most of us are actually more than happy to talk to other people, especially on boring long journeys, or when waiting in a long queue. Get used to talking to absolutely everybody, male or female, young and old. This should help you generate a great deal of positive responses to your approaches and help curb some of those negative connections.

A selection of Adam’s best video blogs

1 Best way to break out of the friend zone

2 How to Pick Up a Bartender

3 So you can get any girl you want. Is it enough?

Bobby Rio – TSB Magazine

Bobby Rio is one of the founders of TSB Magazine. He tends to write about what is on his mind so you’ll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences on his website.

He went from being afraid of talking to women through trail and error to being able to approach and attract them naturally with ease.

I remember when I was first learning how to talk to women, I was deathly afraid of small talk. All of my mentors had warned me not to get stuck in boring small talk. So I steered clear of it.

Because of my reluctance to make small talk with women, I would instead, have long, intense deep conversations with them. Which almost always ended up with me in the friend zone.

I would create way too much rapport with women, and I would be completely afraid to break it. This continually lead to me wasting hours talking to a girl, without ever creating one drop of sexual desire.

After watching a bunch of my more ‘natural’ friends talk to women, I began to notice something that caught my attention. The friends of mine who were successful with women, were almost always using small talk to create attraction.

Except their small talk was anything but boring. It was fun, amusing, flirtatious, and exciting. And the women were eating it up.

Yes, these guys had mastered the art of small talk.

A selection of Bobby’s best blog posts

1 How to Get an Ex Back

2 The Art of Small Talk

3 “How do I apply the three basic elements of humor: exaggeration, repetition, and mis-interpretation”

Want to Know the Secret to Take a Girl Home?

// October 20th, 2010 // No Comments » // Attraction

Guest post by Rob Judge

Today I want to know, “How do you make your move on a girl?” I know how I make mine, but it wasn’t always obvious. It may sound ridiculous, but there was time when making a move felt like disarming a ticking time bomb—one wrong move and ka-pow! I was always afraid I’d detonate a girl’s temper and the entire interaction would blow up in my face.

While that attitude didn’t win me any girlfriends or lovers, it did teach me this: successfully making a move on a girl is a lot like working with ticking explosives. Let me explain…

If you’re anything like I was, you probably know you should make a move, but you talk yourself out of it. You wait, you

Rob Judge

hesitate, you procrastinate, and then you find yourself in the friend zone or with a girl who’s no longer interested. Later you kick yourself, “If I’d just made my move, I know I could’ve had her!” Then you meet a new girl and repeat the same mistakes with her. (Don’t worry; I know firsthand how viciously frustrating this cycle can be!)

Though, simply knowing that you should make a move is not enough. When you’re convincing yourself NOT to do something, you may be your own worst enemy—but you’re also your best negotiator. You know exactly how to convince yourself NOT to do something, and so you’ll keep doing what you’ve always done…unless you have an outside force acting on you to change.

To get over your sexual anxiety, you cannot trust yourself to “just do it”—you have to force yourself to do it. You have to bind yourself to the decision that, “I like this girl and I’m going to make a move on her—whether it feels comfortable or not.” Can you accept that? Are you ready to enjoy a life filled with passionate interactions with the women you’re attracted to?

If so, I introduce you to…

The Ticking Time Bomb of Sexual Ecstasy!

The steps are very simple, and forcing yourself to follow the steps is even simpler. Essentially, you set up a date with a girl—ideally pick a place close to where you live. Then, you leave some “time bomb” in your house or apartment that requires you return within 1 to 2 hours of meeting your date.

Make sure your time bomb is something serious—potentially even something that could cause “damage” if you leave it unattended after 1 to 2 hours. Here are some suggestions:

1. Give your dog way too much water so you will absolutely need take it for a walk within an hour or so (if you’re gone for too long, the dog will pee all over your place)
2. Prepare a meal or snack that requires you place it in a hot oven for an hour (if you’re gone for too long, the house might burn down)
3. Set all your alarm clocks (or even your burglar alarm) to go off (if you don’t return, your neighbors will call the cops)

You get the drift. Get creative with your “ticking time bomb”—just make sure it’s not some wimpy excuse that you can easily ignore and continue to spend long hours with her, without inviting her back to your place. Personally, my favourite “time bombs” are ones that involve an activity you and her can enjoy together (like a meal you cooked)… so bonus points if you can keep your time bomb as “romantic” as possible.

This is a very simple tip, but one that most guys need to implement to achieve the love life they desire. If I had to cite the two biggest improvements to my game, they’d be: 1.) getting over my approach anxiety, and 2.) getting over my sexual escalation anxiety. Unfortunately, it’s easier for most guys to get over their approach anxiety than their sexual anxiety. Simply asking for a female opinion is a lot more comfortable than asking a girl to come home with you.

However, I promise you that if you can get over this fear of sexual escalation, you can multiply the number of girls you attract by a factor beyond your wildest imagination. While this little tidbit covers how to ask a girl to come home with you, my book “The 4 Elements of Game” covers every aspect of the interaction—from opening to making her your girlfriend, and everything in between. If you want an elite knowledge of attraction and dating that will put you in a position to meet, attract, seduce, and date your dream girl, check out this page:

The 4 Elements of Game

Rob Judge

Social Rockstar’s 1st Birthday

// October 18th, 2010 // No Comments » // General

Hey There,

I’m really happy to announce that we are one year old today!

I honestly never envisioned the site would get this big so thanks for your continued support.

When I started the site it was just a way for me to put my thoughts and information down on some sort of medium to help me crystallise them in my mind.

If you are one of the 40,500+ guys who have read this site (you’re obviously one of them because you are reading this :p) thank you you’ll never know how much it means to me.

If you want to stay up to date with new articles please subscribe to my RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/SocialRockstar

Please follow me on Twitter to keep updated: http://www.twitter.com/social_rockstar

Thanks again for your support over the last year!Here’s to another successful year.

Cheers!

Brandon

How to Banter

// October 17th, 2010 // 3 Comments » // Attraction

How do you Banter? Guys that can do it seem to be the one’s that have their pick of the girls. Is it something that only certain guys are able to do? I received this question last week in an email regarding Bantering:

Can you elaborate more on how to banter? I read a couple of articles on this website about how to banter but for some reason I still don’t get it. Some examples would help too.

How To Banter

Firstly here are some definitions of Banter
- Good-humoured, playful conversation.
- To speak to in a playful or teasing way.
- To exchange mildly teasing remarks.
- To speak to or tease lightly or jokingly
- Light, teasing, or joking language or repartee

In a nutshell Banter is anything that creates Tension between you and the girl.

If you didn’t know Tension between you and the girl is what will cause her to feel Attraction for you.

Thus if you want to spark Attraction with hot girls you need to learn how to create some Tension between the two of you. This is where Banter comes in.

Just to clarify Banter isn’t you being mean to the girl it’s merely playful teasing (like when you were kids). Now lets look at some examples…

Examples of How To Banter

• Playfully calling her a “Geek” “Dweeb” “Looser” “Dork” etc
• Giving her a nickname such as “Trouble” “Short Stuff” “Blondie“
• Lightly Hip Check (bumping hips with) her
• Disagreeing with something minor she says. E.g Girl: “I really hate Subway” You: “I love Subway, the best fast food ever“
• Saying “Oh my god that guy is perfect for you” then lightly pushing the girl towards another guy that neither of you know (which will normally cause her to grab onto you from personal experience).
• Saying “You know when you’re not annoying me you can actually be quite sweet” With a playful smile.
• Pointing you finger at her chest, then when she looks down flicking her nose.
• Any other childish trick that makes them look a little bit stupid.
• Saying “Are you drunk… or are you always like this?“
• She drops/spills/breaks/etc. something, “See this is why you’re not allowed to have nice things.“
• Saying “Don’t say anything, you’re cute, you’ll mess probably it up”

All of the above should be delivered with a playful smile to let her know you’re only kidding.

Now you can see what the purpose of bantering is, as well as some examples with a little practise you can tailor make your own up on the spot. I hope these tips get you out of the house and bantering with girls.

Feel free to send me an email if you have any questions or want some advice. I read every single one.

Thanks again for your support! Cheers!

Brandon

50 Subconscious Signs That a Girl Likes You?

// October 16th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // General

Let me ask you a question. How Can You Tell When A Girl Likes You?

From the average male point of view, girls are often far too subtle and indirect, or just plain confusing when revealing their romantic interest (unless you happen to be incredibly good-looking and loaded with cash, in which case they call you).

And yes, girls often send mixed messages because they’re not sure of what’s going on inside their own heads. So I’ve compiled a list of some of the 50  most common signs a girl sends  when she is interested in you (But there are litterally hundreds of signs).

What are some subconscious signs that a girl likes you?

1. She re-initiates conversations when you stop talking
2. She giggles
3. She touches you
4. She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you
5. She looks back and glances at you repeatedly every minute or so
6. She tosses her hair (to see if you will look)
7. If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it for a second
8. She smiles at you
9. She interrupts your conversation from nearby or laughs at something you said
10. She stands nearby (proximity)
11. She bumps into you “accidentally” to try and start a conversation
12. While walking by, she turns her body toward you or brushes against you
13. She says something to her friend and they both giggle
14. She says something to her friend and they both look at you
15. She asks you for a light or the time or in any way initiates a conversation
16. While you’re talking to her group, she is particularly talkative (to get your attention)
17. She asks you what your name is
18. She asks you your age
19. She asks where you live
20. She asks what you do for a living
21. She compliments you
22. She is playful and tries to challenge you
23. She’s disagreeing but laughing
24. She starts trying to prove herself to you
25. She’s punching your arm but laughing
26. She uses nicknames for you
27. She plays with her hair while talking to you
28. When she is sitting next to you her leg touches yours
29. She stands in your personal space
30. She repeatedly touches you in any way
31. She asks if you have a girlfriend
32. If you get out your phone to read a text message you catch her looking at it to see if it’s a girl texting you
33. She mentions your girlfriend without knowing if you actually have one
34. When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back
35. She holds eye contact for longer periods of time when she speaks with you
36. She avoids mentioning her boyfriend
37. If it comes up that you like something, she mentions that she likes it, too, or needs someone to show her how to do it
38. When she says or does something, she looks at you to see your reaction
39. She looks at you from the side, to hide the fact that she’s looking
40. She introduces you to friends
41. She buys you a drink
42. She calls you a player or a heart breaker
43. On her way out, she re-approaches you to tell you that she is leaving (Get her number)
44. On your way out, she asks you where you are going (Invite her or get her number)
45. She returns your calls / answers your texts
46. She invents reasons to be near you, interact with you, or have isolation with you

The 4 Most Important Sign Of Interest

• She re-initiates conversation when you stop talking
• She giggles
• She touches you
• She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you