Confidence With Women

How to Overcome Shyness With Girls

// Shyness

In the beginning overcoming shyness with girls can be really difficult. I know it especially was for me. The good news for you if you are currently shy around girls is it can be overcome. You can go from being someone who is extremely introverted into someone that is extroverted and social. I was one of the most socially awkward people you could ever hope to meet. So if I can successfully get over it so can you. I’ve compiled the five best tips to get you started below. Remember all it requires is for you to put in a bit more effort meeting people.

Don’t put girls on a pedestal

Don’t attach any sort of special significance to the girls you talk to. If you act like she’s too good for you, chances are she’ll subconsciously pick up on it. See her as a normal person who isn’t perfect and has the qualities of the average person. You probably know very little about this person so why treat them like they are better than you. Instead treat them as an equal.

Lower your expectations

When you talk to a girls, don’t have an end goal in mind; just go with the flow. You’ll be amazed at how much easier things get when you don’t think you have to accomplish something by the end. If you keep your cool, the rewards will present themselves naturally.

Get out and socialize

Join activities in which you’re always interacting with people, such as the gym, martial arts, a book club, cooking course, etc. In these sorts of places, you must always socialize with others, and after a while, you’ll get comfortable with it. Also, you’re practically guaranteed to meet interesting women that you have things in common with.

Talk to a lot of people (not just girls)

Don’t be afraid to talk to everyone you meet, from the old lady doing her groceries to the bank clerk. Practice is the only way you’ll get good at socialising with people. Most people secretly lament the lack of communication between themselves and others, so your friendliness will be welcome.  And if it’s not, brush it off. Those that snub you are probably inhibited people who never took on the challenge of overcoming their own shyness. Think of being social as a muscle that you need to exercise by talking to people you meet when going about your day to day business.

Make friends with girls and spend time with them

One or two will be fine but three to five would be better. You need to get used to hanging out and spending time around girls that you’re just friends with to enable you to get over your shyness around girls before you plan on being around ones that you’re attracted to because that’s going to make you shyer on a whole other level.

Once you’re comfortable doing that you can then start spending time with girls you are attracted to. You can even get your female friends to introduce you to some of their friends. That’s the beauty of having female friends, because they like you they want to see you happy so they’ll try and set you up. For some reason girls love playing matchmaker and getting people together.

I know this sounds very counter intuitive but it really is the fastest way to get over shyness with women. Also take them on nights out with you because they will provide you with Social Proof and thus Pre-selection making the other girls where you go more attracted to you (without you having to do anything), so they’re then more than happy to talk to you when you approach.

Photo Credit: Marco Viegas

Posted on January 10th, 2010

Social tagging: girls • How to Overcome Shyness With Girls • Shy • Shyness • Social • Social Proof • Talking To Women • woman